The Insidious Nature of Gaslighting, and Its Danger to Women.

The insidious nature of gaslighting and its danger to women is far-reaching.

Understanding how gaslighting works empowers you to stand up against the danger of this insidious abuse, giving you a sense of control and resilience.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse which is most destructive in women. Abusers, intentionally or unintentionally, make victims question their own reality, memory, or perception. In the long term, it may have severe emotional and mental health side effects. Gaslighting is insidious in nature.

Understanding is the key to identifying and fighting this insidious tactic.

What is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting is an abusive situation. The insidious nature of gaslighting is manipulation. This is designed to make the victim doubt their sense of reality. This can happen in many ways, such as:

Denial of Facts:

The abuser denies events or actions that took place, making the victim doubt their memory.

Trivialising Feelings:

The abuser questions and belittles the victim’s feelings. The abuser makes the victim’s feelings appear unreasonable or irrational.

Withholding Information:

The abuser withholds information so that the victim would feel uninformed or crazy.

Diverting Attention/ moving goal posts

The abuser suddenly changes the course of the conversation. Often, the abuser, out of the blue, changes plans and denies the plans were made in the first place. It also questions the victim, making them doubt their memory, focus and attention.

Why Are Women, in particular, So Vulnerable?

Although it can happen to anyone, gaslighting more often involves women as victims. There are several factors contributing to this vulnerability:

1. Historical and Social Context:

Throughout history, women’s voices and experiences have been disregarded as unimportant. Sadly, societal structures still often reflect these dynamics. It’s easier for an abuser to undermine women’s realities than that of men.

2. Power Dynamics in Relationships:

In most heterosexual relationships, traditional power dynamics favour men. This power imbalance can make women more vulnerable to gaslighting.

3. Gender Stereotypes:

There is a stereotypical image of women. For example, women may be seen as overly sensitive or irrational. So, women losing their confidence can be easily manipulated by gaslighters. Gaslighters routinely invalidate women’s emotions and perceptions.

The Psychological Effect of Gaslighting

I have suffered greatly from the effects of years of gaslighting. It has taken years of therapy and determination to be free from its effects.

The good news is that it is possible to be free and heal.

The effects of gaslighting are severe and long-term. Typically, victims suffer from:

– Self-Doubt:

The abuser incessantly questions their victim’s reality. This results in the widely held sensation of self-doubt and fear.

– Anxiety and Depression:

The stress and disorientation from gaslighting can lead to massive mental health issues.

– Isolation:

A victim of long-term gaslighting may get isolated from their friends and family. The victim may start mistrusting their friends and family’s perceptions and emotions.

– Lowered Self-Esteem:

Steady put-downs and denials can be very damaging to a victim’s self-esteem.

How to Identify Gaslighting

The first step in dealing with gaslighting is its recognition. Some essential signs to recognise include the following:

• Apologies All the Time:

The victim always apologises and feels the fault is theirs. The victim even takes responsibility for their abuser’s abuse toward them.

• Second-Guessing:

The victim constantly second-guesses their memory and decisions.

• Confused:

The victim feels confused and disoriented and often has a feeling of “losing their mind.”

• Withdrawal:

A person who is gaslighted may withdraw from social contacts. This is due to feelings of isolation, embarrassment and misunderstanding.

Counteracting Gaslighting

Gaslighting can be counteracted through awareness, support, and assertiveness:

1. Find Someone to Validate You:

Talk honestly with close friends or family members. Find out who will confirm your reality and emotional existence.

2. Keep a Log of the Interactions:

Log the interactions that you have with the abuser so you have hard proof of what was said or done.

3. Set Boundaries:

Set clear boundaries with the abuser and stick to them. This will protect your sanity from his or her further abuse.

4. Seek Professional Help:

Seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, is a crucial step in rebuilding your self-esteem and coping skills. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support.

Conclusion

It’s important to understand that Gaslighting is a dangerous form of psychological abuse. I lived with it for more than fifteen years before I realised what was happening to me.

Gaslighting involves the disproportionate undermining of women’s reality and extensive emotional hurt.

Awareness of gaslighting is critical in enabling you to regain control of your life.

Learn to identify the insidious nature of gaslighting. Because you will be better equipped to protect your heart and mental health.  

The more awareness and support you have, the more the gaslighting can be resisted.

We can support each other as women in standing up against the danger of this insidious abuse.

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